Breaking Free

Have you ever felt like you were trapped? Trapped inside a box but truly had no desire to break free?

That was me for most of my teen and early adult years.

I am a introvert by nature. I preferred to keep my circle small because the few friends in it got me. I could be alone. I could separate myself and it was OK.

I had compartments for everything. Home. Church. Work. School. Friends. I had expectations for each compartment. And I was sure nothing spilled over.

No matter what I did I felt like eyes were on me and nothing was ever good enough. But truth is that couldn't have been further from the truth. I was content with hiding in the shadows of others and I avoided doing anything that could draw too much attention.

When I was in my teens I found my thing. Religion. It was my safe place. The place where I thought I was accepted. I still wavered as I was not completely content. But I could use it as a mask of who I thought I needed to be.

I bounced around between different churches between 2000-2011 a lot. Searching for my place. The place where I fit in. Where I could belong. For years I thought I needed religion however what I was searching for was a relationship.

In February 2012 that when things began to shift. What started as religion began to evolve into relationship. The layers that had been building for years began to very slowly fall off. God began to place people in my path who would help break through these layers and help me discover who I was made to be. They would help me see my value and my worth.

Looking back at these past 6 years I have been at Lifesong Church I can not believe how far I have come. My first year there I attended the same Lifegroup and said only a handful of words in that time. I usually only spoke when spoken to. The following year is when things began to change.

I began a womans curriculum at our church. It was life changing.

I no longer feel the need to isolate myself. To stay in the confines of that box.

I am who God designed me to be. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. The voice that has been buried for years is emerging.

I have purpose. My future is bright. God has so many plans for me. But this path before me today may not be my path tomorrow. And that is OK.

I am a prayer warrior. I am a worshiper. I am a teacher. I am a leader. God is using me in more ways than I ever imagined.

I didn't get to this place by accident. I got here after countless prayers and allowing God to completely guide my steps.

My marriage is different. Watching my girls grow in areas God is calling them to at such a young age is so fulfilling.

I want to encourage you. Put God at the center of all you do and he will make all your dreams come true. Not in your time but in His time.